Got to take you scouting with me this morning :)
4.30.18 “I can tell that we are gonna be friends.”
A snack on the porch after work because it’s a sunny spring afternoon.
This year my sister turned 27 on Easter Sunday so she made the most delicious Easter brunch for her family and she let me decorate the table for her. So much fun to celebrate her and collaborate with her. <3 My favorite was the cardamom strawberry popsicles ✨
There is no history
my experience of you is one continuous loop.
There never was before you
There will be nothing after.
Thus the Apostle's Mystery:
It may be too much to ascribe
to another person,
too divine to live firsthand.
But God the man makes a bride of mankind:
who am I to belittle what he planned?
I am now always wed to you.
I am always of a bed with you.
I am tomorrow always head to you.
is an eternal setting
in the story of the heart.
This is what the children of all the divorced know:
Why can it not be with whom you said it would be?
May our children never know it.
What begins in ceremony never dies.
It only gets belied.
What grows in covenant never decays.
It only gets betrayed.
There are promises and mistakes,
Oaths and their oathbreaks.
May he bind the cords again tonight
In a moment unfit to share with anyone else.
May he write the words again tonight
In a poem meant only for us
So we know a little better
What it is to be chosen
And never lied to or betrayed -
A selection once done, ever frozen
What awe it is to be loved -
A beginning with no end.
Endless beginnings as far as the eye can see.
"Behold, I am making all things new."
Once more: I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
Love that we find you here so often.
Nothing more fun than coasters.
You loved all the “di/ti/shhhhh”
You love watching everything that lives underwater, just like your dad.
You love being underwater, just like your mom.
you see my love
as an unlanguaged blur.
You find its lines
only in the shape of my face,
its warmth in my palms.
Some day I will try to tell you
how big it was,
the holding in the night,
the patient waiting
for the cries to subside.
My parents did the same.
It is impossible
to fully comprehend
the scale of love
before we know we are
I deceive myself
into the idea that I know enough
to manage my own humanness.
Really, even the smallest corners
of what I cannot see
dwarf the crannies of my mind.
In the niche nooks of knowledge,
some days I can begin
to see myself in my son:
the fury over things
that do not last,
the joy over things
that are insignificant
but are made magnificent
by that same joy.
And on those days
I sense the presence,
wishing me into growth,
loving me in
I got to try my hand at knitting, make kokedama by hand, and eat sushi 31 floors above Bellevue. Not pictured, but I also got to sing karaoke til my hearts content, cuddle my nephews and nieces, and drop Wes off for many hours so that I could miss him so much. Cheers to all the people who made me feel so loved and known at 30 years in <3
Got to see some real DuT! (Ducks)
The Second Time Around
You gave it your best
shot across the bow.
But you are caught between then
and tomorrow and now.
You swam among sharks
circling you in water and in dreams.
But you are spinning in an arc
so fast you're splitting at the seams.
Before you come undone, out of touch
or before you touch the ground:
Remember this is a new decade of your life.
"You always build it better
the second time around."
Nine months old in lederhosen. Because, lederhosen. Thanks Oma and Opa!
“I just can’t believe I made it this long!”
SiGuy and Huddy came to visit! Can’t believe Wesley & SIlas are almost a year old! :)