Got to take you scouting with me this morning :)

4.23.19

A snack on the porch after work because it’s a sunny spring afternoon.

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Easter 2019

This year my sister turned 27 on Easter Sunday so she made the most delicious Easter brunch for her family and she let me decorate the table for her. So much fun to celebrate her and collaborate with her. <3 My favorite was the cardamom strawberry popsicles ✨

Wes & Ev

//

What Begins in Ceremony

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There is no history

between us

my experience of you is one continuous loop.

There never was before you

There will be nothing after.

Thus the Apostle's Mystery:

It may be too much to ascribe

to another person,

too divine to live firsthand.

But God the man makes a bride of mankind:

who am I to belittle what he planned?

I am now always wed to you.

I am always of a bed with you.

I am tomorrow always head to you.

Exclusivity

is an eternal setting

in the story of the heart.

This is what the children of all the divorced know:

Why can it not be with whom you said it would be?

May our children never know it.

What begins in ceremony never dies.

It only gets belied.

What grows in covenant never decays.

It only gets betrayed.

There are promises and mistakes,

Oaths and their oathbreaks.

May he bind the cords again tonight

In a moment unfit to share with anyone else.

May he write the words again tonight

In a poem meant only for us

So we know a little better

What it is to be chosen

And never lied to or betrayed -

A selection once done, ever frozen

In time.

What awe it is to be loved -

A beginning with no end.

Endless beginnings as far as the eye can see.

All beginning, 

No end.

"Behold, I am making all things new."

Once more: I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

Piano man

Love that we find you here so often.

4.7.19 & 4.13.19

You love watching everything that lives underwater, just like your dad.

You love being underwater, just like your mom.

Unlanguaged

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As yet

you see my love

as an unlanguaged blur.

You find its lines

only in the shape of my face,

its warmth in my palms.

Some day I will try to tell you

how big it was,

the holding in the night,

the patient waiting 

for the cries to subside.

My parents did the same.

It is impossible 

to fully comprehend

the scale of love 

before we know we are

loved

at all.

For me,

I deceive myself

into the idea that I know enough

to manage my own humanness.

Really, even the smallest corners

of what I cannot see

dwarf the crannies of my mind.

In the niche nooks of knowledge,

some days I can begin 

to see myself in my son:

the fury over things

that do not last,

the joy over things

that are insignificant

but are made magnificent

by that same joy.

And on those days

I sense the presence,

vague,

unworded -

but constant,

known -

wishing me into growth,

loving me in

to life.

I love you, Wesley.

I love you, Wesley.

April 1st

House things

Turning 30, an experience

I got to try my hand at knitting, make kokedama by hand, and eat sushi 31 floors above Bellevue. Not pictured, but I also got to sing karaoke til my hearts content, cuddle my nephews and nieces, and drop Wes off for many hours so that I could miss him so much. Cheers to all the people who made me feel so loved and known at 30 years in <3

Happy Birthday, Shannon

Got gifted a big date where the dessert was smokey and looked like dirt but tasted like chocolate.

Got gifted a big date where the dessert was smokey and looked like dirt but tasted like chocolate.

The Second Time Around

You gave it your best

shot across the bow.

But you are caught between then

and tomorrow and now.

You swam among sharks

circling you in water and in dreams.

But you are spinning in an arc

so fast you're splitting at the seams.

Before you come undone, out of touch

or before you touch the ground:

Remember this is a new decade of your life.

"You always build it better

the second time around."

Welcome to the big 3-0.

Welcome to the big 3-0.

3/6/19

Nine months old in lederhosen. Because, lederhosen. Thanks Oma and Opa!