A Family Journal

In early 2014 I was looking at grad schools and simultaneously trying to make heads or tails of my camera manual. I had started nannying for Taylor and when she wasn’t editing in her dark basement, she would come upstairs and make us some “toddy”. She would occasionally answer little questions I had about my basic DSLR and I tried not to pester her too much. Eventually, she said we should go out and practice with her daughter, Mae, in the alley behind her house. She said you only learn by picking the camera up and trying and told me to put my manual away for awhile.

You can read that as part of the story for how I became a photographer, but it’s really a snippet from a much bigger story, that is the story of my friendship with Taylor. And I’m here to tell a little more of that friendship story.

If I am to be one thing in life, I hope it is a friend. When Taylor and I started Salt to Clay Photography, we thought of it as an endeavor of friendship. We liked having fun together and creating together, because those are things friends do. It has been said that “Friendship is THE way to change the world” and I really believe that. In our business, we sought first to be friends to each other, and then to extend that friendship to our clients and models and the vendors we worked with. We planned to change the world.

It’s hard to write about the ideas you believe in most. So while I’ve been thinking about this message for awhile now, it still comes haltingly, awkwardly, and honestly cannot live up to my hopes of what I mean or want to communicate. But this is part of being a friend, too : saying things imperfectly because they need to be said.

Taylor and I have decided to close down Salt to Clay Photography. While this “job” has not been without its many struggles, seasons of defeat, competitive moments, or despair, none of these are the reason we’ve decided to close it down. It’s a simple reason: our friendship is more important to us. What I mean to say, is that our personal lives currently require a higher level of friendship from us, and the business is simply too much in the way of being the type of friend we need from each other right now. We are setting aside the role of "business partner" in order to do so.

We are so sad and so grateful. We are not quitting the business of creating together, that is woven into our friendship DNA and will always be something we do. We will miss the amazing people we’ve worked with, and the couples and families who have let us be part of their most intimate days and vulnerable moments. We don’t take for granted being chosen to stand at the altar with you, or the faith you put in us when you let us mark the passing of another year in your family’s lives, or the vulnerability you offered when we asked to share your story with people.

We’re not giving up on the drive we feel to create things, to observe people and learn from them, or to savor every last drop of light in the day. But we will redirect it, in order to be the people we most want to be, which is not business owners.

I did end up attending grad school in 2015, for one week. And then I quit. And I'm still a young immature human, but so far it seems to me that the times that have required the most bravery from me have been the moments where I knew I needed to quit something. I needed to step down from what seemed like a path of success for, what? Something. I often don’t know.

This time though, I know I'm quitting for my friend. I'm quitting so I can try to be a better one. Business is cheap, and any friendship worth having should cost you everything.

We don't drink toddy anymore. Our lives have changed so much over the years. But I look back to that time and it renews my resolve. I gain from it both a sense of longing and a feeling of being shoved forward into this unknown. I see that it's time to put the manual down again and just try. I see that I'm still learning the same lesson from Taylor that she started teaching me back then.

And while I am heartbroken to say goodbye to this chapter in my life and the opportunities it provided, I feel so proud of the work we’ve done together. Proud of the photos we’ve taken, yes, but mostly the friends we’ve made and been. And with that passion in mind, to be good friends to one another and spur each other on to be a good friend to others, I don’t feel that we are losing too much. We are focused on what we always have been. And we plan to change the world.

Cookie picnic by the fire

$1 outfit from Goodwill…

Snowdays 2020

Farewell to Salt to Clay Photography

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